Egbert! I tried to leave a message in your ask, but it is disabled. I have been thinking about you!! What have you been making? Who is your studio professor? judging by your tumblr, im guessing Corin. but maybe you two just think alike.
so i just snuck out of the backdoor of the house to go to walmart at two o clock in the morning. dumb. but while i was waiting in line, i was watching the cashier who was a twenty something year old weirdo ring up his wierdo buddies who were also employees..
and i just kept thinking about how fucking weird they were
and then i remembered that one time that i think jaclyn and i kinda forced egbert to come drink champagne with us during a break between classes, and i was talking alot and being a bitch drinking out of cups. and egbert told me with sincerity that i was “so… coool” and that is when i realized that actually i was really fucking weird and a total bitch. like seriously, i am the devil in heels- only leopard print vans. so, my entire life like even when i was really little people always told me i was weird, and that i laughed too much, and that my laugh was weird. but i think i just laughed? and didn’t care. because i thought people just told people they were weird. and i have been super self conscious lately around my mom because i hate getting “the look” and self conscious at work because it is fucking work. and being serious and not being me is starting to really make my head feel hot all the time.
so, instead of living this life.. ash and i are talking about selling our cars and moving to ny in december/january. i dont think new york will ever really be me, but she needs a fancy job and i need to not live in newport news. honestly if the world wasnt so fucked up i would just be living in a tent. because that would be normal. and if things dont work out and come spring time i want to be doing something else with my life i am moving onto the reservation. no problemo.
i really want to live in the wilderness or something close to it and just be self sufficient. like a self sufficient tent dweller? down.
counting down the minutes till thursday when i can finally finish my painting and daydream about the entire fucking untied states shutting down so everybody can just go do what they want to do. and what would i do? honestly, i think i would spend a month hunting drake, and see does he wanna go play in some deep snow. not even really tryen’ to fuck or anything. just down to make some snow angels in some big furry ass snow boots. no cuddles. dont touch me, drizzy. i just wanna see does your voice actually sound like that on a regular basis.
which brings me to the next point that every body is fucking getting married and it is depressing.like, damndude. yours life is over. being in a serious relationship, and getting proposed to, and getting married, and buying a house. seems like it will never ever ever ever EVER ever EVER be my style. im down to get like spur of the moment married to some boy that ive known for like three months and can tell that we would be down like that and then like move into his apartment and maybe one day go on a vacation together. but nah to everything else. and no kids either. not that i could have any? i think i would shoot myself.
blugh. ugh, im just gonna make a new portfolio and keep submitting it to adult swim till they hire me. so that way there would be zero differentiation between my real life and my other life. sike this all will never happen.